Episode Twenty Three: “What, you’re a reformed lesbian?”
The dread was once again upon Mike Minor. As he dully watched the O’Rourke show in his cabin rental, there was a knock on his door. Minor got up and answered it.
The woman standing there was tall, with two long golden braids. In her tanned arms were sheets and blankets. “Okay to change your linen?”
Mike Minor didn’t want to see anyone, much less talk to anyone. He wasn’t even sure why he had answered the door. “I thought I had this place to myself all week.”
“Yeah, right, you do. We just change sheets on Fridays.”
“At five fifteen in the afternoon?”
She shrugged, and said good naturedly, “I’m a little late. Can I come in?” Mike Minor stepped aside, and the tall woman entered.
He turned off the television. He wasn’t in any hurry to see the Bishop and O’Rourke dissect and expose his strategy on national television. O’Rourke had already indicated his sympathies were with the fundamentalist Christians.
From the tiny bedroom she called out, “I’ll have this changed in no time. I’m Charlene.”
Mike Minor said nothing.
“And you’re Mike Minor.”
Minor’s eye’s widened. He’d been a public figure for years, but he had used an assumed name to rent this place. “No, I’m not,” he lied.
Charlene laughed, and came back into the main room. “Mike, you used to be one of my heroes, back when I was in the lifestyle. I know who you are, and what you’ve done.”
“The lifestyle? What,” he said as sarcastically as he could, “you’re a reformed lesbian?”
Charlene pointed to the Gideon’s Bible on the coffee table. “‘Reformed’ is the wrong word, Mike. I repented. And you can, too.”
To be continued…
Episodes of Attack of the Evange-hellicals:
1. How to silence the black Bishop: HERE
2. The Bishop and the televised lie: HERE
3. C.R.O.C.-o-matic: HERE
4. Declaration of Courtesy: HERE
Announcement: Evange-hellicals Anonymous help available: HERE
5. The LORD is a man of war (Exodus 15:3): HERE
Newsbreak: Unhappy Evange-hellicals Anonymous member speaks out: HERE
6. The Fleas and Pets Newsletter: HERE
7. Enough with the propaganda points: HERE
Intermission: Popcorn half price for evangelicals: SNACKS
8. Espresso with the Just Jesus Christian: HERE
9. Nothing he could say: HERE
Advertisement: Universalist “Big Tent” Toy Set For The Kids! HERE
10. Episco-contemplatives: HERE
10.5 Jenni Botswana knows the Lion HERE
11. What is happening HERE
12. Howls and Lamentations HERE
13. Unholy Times and an Unholy People: HERE
14. Jenni Botswana, Early Bird: HERE
15. The evangelist and the rotting fruit: HERE
15.5 Fleas and Heretics HERE
Evange-Smellicals Perfume Commercial: SNIFF
16. Gay Activist and the Puritan Preacher: HERE
17. HELL’S BELLS: HERE
18. Homo-Universalism: HERE
19. Evange-hellicals and People of the Book: HERE
Infomercial: Evange-hellicals Bible sells out first day: HERE
20. Gomer Joe’s Bar: HERE
21. Return of the Anti-Flea Sauce HERE
22. Hanratty praying, the enemy preying: HERE
Announcement: Talking Evange-tellicals in our lobby! HERE
23. “What, you’re a reformed lesbian?” HERE
24. This thing that is upon us: HERE
25. What a beautiful girl: HERE
26. Better to struggle than burn: HERE
27. The Street Preacher HERE
28: Epilogue: Rifles and Parade: HERE
copyright John Lanagan 2010
(This is a work of fiction, and all characters are fictitious)
Tagged: Christian books, christian entertainment, evangelism, lesbian, lifestyle, reformed, repent
